The sex-positive movement is all about embracing pleasure, open communication, and reevaluating outdates norms and ideas. We have advancements in technology. Why not have advancements when it comes to sexual pleasure?
It encourages a refreshing openness about sexuality, much like peeling back the curtains on those outdated, Puritanical drapes and finally letting some sunlight in.
No longer are conversations about pleasure and consent confined to the shadows of hushed tones and red-faced embarrassment. Instead, we’re encouraged to discuss these topics with the same ease and grace as one might a fine wine—“Ah yes, I sense notes of mutual respect and a healthy dash of enthusiastic consent.”
Key points of the sex-positive movement are consent, body positivity, open conversation and technology.
Consent: ah, the ultimate aphrodisiac! Consent, in the sex-positive world, is not merely a formality—it’s the headliner. It’s the respectful request before entering someone’s emotional and physical space, and much like waiting for the soufflé to rise, it requires patience. And let’s face it, nothing says “sexy” like checking in to ensure everyone is on board.
I remember years ago being at a dinner party. I overheard a man state that “It isn’t rape if it is your wife”. What the actual fuck! Ok, I had to chime in. “So if your wife, for whatever reason, doesn’t feel like having sex, you can just force her?” his response: “Well, it’s her job.” Her job? Sex with your committed partner isn’t supposed to be work. Let’s just say that conversation ended with the guy in a pissy huff.
Now let’s talk about body positivity. Historically, every generation and time period had it’s ideal. In the 18th century, it was fashionable to wear led based make-up to make them look pasty white. The reason was that if you had color to your skin, you were a peasant who had to work in the sun. Then along comes Coco Chanel, fresh from vacation with an ever so slight tan. Suddenly, everyone associated being tan with wealth because you could afford to go on exotic vacations. People started getting more and more tan.
Now that we discussed changes in skin color, let’s talk about changes in body types.
In the renaissance period, painters created images of women with small breasts and slightly round bellies.
During the WW II era, the pinup girl was introduced. She had larger breasts, a more slender tummy and legs that could stop traffic!
Fast forward to the 60’s where “thin was in”. You saw models like Twiggey who was so thin you could practically see through her.
Then in the 80’s, Sir Mixalot’s song “Baby Got Back” presented the idea that a larger backside was desirable.
Now society has an outlook that is revolutionary! All shapes and sizes are beautiful so people don’t have to force them selves into a physique that is not intended for their body type. No more unhealthy diets or exercising to exhaustion. It has not only brought about a healthier mindset on body image, but a freedom to truly enjoy sex without constantly thinking about our perceived flaws.
Conversations about sex have also improved. Dialog between partners is more open and honest. No more beating around the bush or using cutesy terms and phrases that don’t quite land the meaning. People are less likely to be afraid to ask for what they want or express what they DON’T want. Discussions about sex tend to include words like “pleasure” and preference”. Partners are more comfortable asking to try something new and to set boundaries.
Another advancement in the world of sex is technology. Dating apps have opened up many more options to assist in finding everything from a life partner to a hook-up. Dating websites can be general or very specific. They include all demographics and interests. In addition, technology has made it easier for
partners to feel connected.
Years ago, a wife might put a love note in her husband’s lunch box. Now, companions can send a text or a sex selfie. Just, make sure to give a heads up if the picture is a little racy. You wouldn’t want co-workers of family members accidentally seeing the goods.
And remember, it is still a nice surprise to open your lunchbox and find a little something that says “I was thinking about you”. A side effect of putting a note somewhere your mate can find is that when they see it, they can’t help but think of you!
So be appreciative of the sexual freedoms we enjoy that out predecessors did not have. Stand up for your consent. Love your body. Confidently have those important conversations. Use technology to find a partner or stay connected to the one you have.
How do you protect your consent?
How do you love your body?
What open and honest conversations have you had about your desires and boundaries?
How do you use technology in this new world of sexual freedom?
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